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Positive Quotes about Jokes

Let these Jokes quotes help you to have a positive attitude toward life, and to think positively.

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Related topics: Cute Whimsey Friendship Relationship

I don't make jokes.
I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blonde.
- Dolly Parton

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Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes,
the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
- John Lasseter

A serious and good philosophical work could be written
consisting entirely of jokes.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein

It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues
if there is some dissent,
some conflict.
- Mo Rocca

 

I'm not a standup.
I don't really have jokes.
I don't have 10 minutes.
It took a while for me to realize this.
- Julia Sweeney

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that
he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.
- Glen Campbell

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen,
see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done
for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
- Ron White

I like to hold the microphone cord like this,
I pinch it together, then I let it go,
then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
- Mitch Hedberg

Don't make jokes about food.
- David Lean

You can trust a Neil Simon script.
Every dot.
Every dash; that pause means something.
He takes all the jokes out, practically.
- Hector Elizondo

I guess they're tough jokes.
But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at.
And you just can't cry.
- Sam Kinison

I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character,
the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
- Neil LaBute

Writing for young children I find I often use particular
jokes with words and exaggerated,
funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex
stories for older children too.
- Margaret Mahy

The main jokes in this film are about big things,
love and life and zombies - we all get that.
- Simon Pegg

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.
- Brad Garrett

It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter.
Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation
than trying to make the English laugh.
- Malcolm Muggeridge

Everyone for the most part is really nice.
There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight.
You can't make everyone completely happy.
- Tina Yothers

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
- Mark Russell

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
- Marilyn Monroe

Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely
turn their backs on their historical dishes,
no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
- Nick Clooney

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting,
and there is no jovial companionship equal to that
where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
- Washington Irving

People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off.
- Sanaa Lathan

It had more layers than an onion.
These writers meant business.
There was a level for everybody.
Your major could be celestial mechanics,
and there'd be celestial-mechanics jokes.
- Billy West

Most jokes state a bitter truth.
- Larry Gelbart

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy,
and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
- Kathy Griffin

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.
- Martin Short

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school
because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
- Megan Fox

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show.
People generally talk the way they talk in life if
you were in this particular situation.
- Larry David

I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion,
where you're allowed to make jokes.
I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything.
- Boy George

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes.
I want my life to mean something.
- Steve Harvey

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
- Mitch Hedberg

I don't like jokes in speeches.
I do like wit and humor.
A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
- James Humes

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers,
are the bond that keeps most families alive.
- Stella Benson

I can tell jokes.
I can talk to the audience.
I can relax.
I can change my songs whenever I want.
I can change the tempos.
I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
- Robert Goulet

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings.
You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
- David Letterman

When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes.
- Graham Kennedy

When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent -
no jokes in it for the parents!
- Dick Bruna

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens,
but also that's alive: they respond,
they're getting the jokes,
they're with me.
And that' s been happening.
- Dan Hicks

My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy
of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads,
where they are safe.
- Emo Philips

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny,
but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air.
So just answer my questions.
Seriously.
- Rob Corddry

Jokes are better than war.
Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars.
Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
- George Mikes

Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.
- Jim Fowler

Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able
to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before.
We can actually finish jokes.
- Aries Spears

I never believe them when they say that because you
really have to sort of be aware of what's going on
in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
- Samantha Bee

In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive
thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying
to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around.
- David Cross

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes,
including the ones one has heard before.
- Frank Dane

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes,
but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.
- Mose Allison

Comedy, at least the way I write comedy,
is just drama with jokes.
- Rob Walton

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
- Drew Carey

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in
the wee hours of the morning.
Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
- Seth MacFarlane

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly -
constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour.
It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
- Evan Dando

If you want anything done well, do it yourself.
This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
- Bob Edwards

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns.
I talk that way, so I write that way.
- Allan Sloan

It wasn't until I became more confident with myself
and I put myself forward instead of the jokes;
at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
- Wanda Sykes

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day,
your mind starts going to strange places.
- Seth MacFarlane

A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff.
But most of it was all character situations leading
to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character.
- Shawn Wayans

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did
not understand some of the jokes.
- Desi Arnaz

I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd,
at times - maybe some would say dirty -
jokes.
But in jest.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar

If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you,
father.
- Mary Todd Lincoln

The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing,
and we laugh at our own jokes.
- Adrian Edmondson

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
- Robert Frost

I crack jokes and play games and that's really more
my nature than being cold.
- Bernhard Langer

I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my
writing for the amusement of readers.
- Armistead Maupin

A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
- Eugene Ionesco

I love life in spite of all that mars it.
I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot

Jokes are grievances.
- Marshall McLuhan


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