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If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
Every child comes with the message
that God is not yet discouraged of man.
- Rabindranath Tagore
No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)
Circumstance does not make the man: it reveals him to himself.
- James Allen
All things share the same breath -
the beast, the tree, the man...
the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports.
- Chief Seattle (attributed)
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde
Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln
Adventure is not outside man; it is within.
- George Eliot
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
The wise man in the storm prays God,
not for safety from danger,
but for deliverance from fear.
It is the storm within which endangers him,
not the storm without.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The full measure of a man is
not to be found in the man himself,
but in the colors and textures that
come alive in others because of him.
- Albert Schweitzer
The wise man does not lay up his own treasures.
The more he gives to others, the more he has for his own.
- Lao Tzu
It is what a man thinks of himself
that really determines his fate.
- Henry David Thoreau
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.
- Yiddish Proverb
As long as a man stands in his own way,
everything seems to be in his way.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Each man is the architect of his own fate.
- Appius Claudius
Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth,
and if a man does not know what a thing is,
it is at least an increase in knowledge
if he knows what it is not.
- Carl Jung
Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.
- Mark Twain
Nothing can stop the man with the right
mental attitude from achieving his goal;
nothing on earth can help the man
with the wrong mental attitude.
- Thomas Jefferson
A man can do only what he can do.
But if he does that each day he can sleep at night
and do it again the next day.
- Albert Schweitzer
When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill
The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was:
"If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
But... the good Samaritan reversed the question:
"If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
- The Bible
A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.
- George Savile
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
A man is as unhappy as he has convinced himself he is.
- Seneca
One man with courage makes a majority.
- old saying probably repeated by Andrew Jackson
(falsely attributed to Jefferson)
The eyes of the cheerful and of the melancholy man
are fixed upon the same creation;
but very different are the aspects which it bears to them.
- Albert Pike
Man plans, God laughs
- Yiddish Proverb
Man must evolve for all human conflict,
a method which rejects
revenge, aggression and retaliation.
The foundation of such a method is love.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell
Take a chance! All life is a chance.
The man who goes farthest is generally
the one who is willing to do and dare.
- Dale Carnegie
A man is truly ethical only when he obeys
the compulsion to help all life which he is able to assist,
and shrinks from injuring anything that lives.
- Albert Schweitzer
For man with no forgiveness in heart,
life worse punishment than death.
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid 2
If thou wilt make a man happy,
add not unto his riches but take away from his desires.
- Epicurus
Before you criticize a man,
walk a mile in his shoes.
- Anonymous
Well, I don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it doesn't matter with me now.
Because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like any man,
I would like to live a long life.
Longevity has its place.
But I'm not concerned about that now.
I just want to do God's will.
And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I've looked over.
And I've seen the promised land.
I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we,
as a people, will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The wise man looks into space,
and does not regard the small as too little,
nor the great as too much;
for he knows that there is no limit to dimensions.
- Lao Tzu
If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought,
happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
- The Buddha
All this worldly wisdom was once
the unamiable heresy of some wise man.
- Henry David Thoreau
Non-violence requires a double faith,
faith in God and also faith in man.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
During the first period of a man's life
the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
- Soren Kierkegaard
When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln
Great and good are seldom the same man.
- Winston Churchill
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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