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I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
by Woody Allen

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Related topics: Funny Cynical

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

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Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

 

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake
is to be continually thrown out of the nest.
- Pema Chodron

The beauty does not live out there;
the beauty's in my eyes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to dance lightly with life,
sing wild songs of adventure,
invite rainbows and butterflies out to play,
soar your spirit, and unfurl your joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

When you get the choice to sit it out or dance,
I hope you dance.
- Lee Ann Womack

Be curious; be adventurous; live life full-out.
Accept the challenge, and reach for the brass ring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth

Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden

Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find a place inside where there's joy,
and the joy will burn out the pain.
- Joseph Campbell

People are like stained glass windows,
they sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when darkness sets in their true beauty
is revealed only if there is a light from within.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

You only get out what you put in.
- Anonymous

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job,
tell 'em, Certainly I Can. -
and get busy and find out how to do it.
- Theodore Roosevelt

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

Live out of your imagination, not your history.
- Stephen Covey

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hopeful thinking can get you out of your fear zone
and into your appreciation zone.
- Martha Beck

Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find your balance and stand with it.
Find your song and sing it out.
Find your cadence and let it appear like a dance.
Find the questions that only you know how to ask and
The answers that you are content to not know.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.
- Helen Keller

Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there
who will try to discourage you.
Don't listen to them.
The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon

Go within every day and find the inner strength
so that the world will not blow your candle out.
- Katherine Dunham

Do not let your fire go out.
- Ayn Rand

Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out.
- Art Linkletter

You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)

Angry and happy don't mix.
Flush out the angry,
and the happy has a place to put down roots.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone who proposes to do good
must not expect people to roll stones out of his way,
but must accept his lot calmly,
even if they roll a few stones upon it.
- Albert Schweitzer

The challenge of living a great life is to create
a meaningful whole out of sometimes ill-fitting halves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.
Don't be trapped by dogma -
which is living with the results of other people's thinking.
Don't let the noise of others' opinions
drown out your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage
to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary.
- Steve Jobs

Life is a dangerous - ultimately fatal - endeavor,
so you may as well live it full out.
Chart your course, cast off the lines,
and boldly sail the seas of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't live down to expectations.
Go out there and do something remarkable.
- Wendy Wasserstein

This isn't a rehearsal or a practice life.
This is your real life - your one and only real life.
There are no retakes - no second chances.
Begin now - live full out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A ship in port is safe,
but that's not what ships are built for.
Sail out to sea and do new things.
- Grace Hopper

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

Apology is only egotism wrong side out.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing,
there is a field. I will meet you there.
- Rumi

Love is an undulating energy that moves through you,
within you, and radiates out of you,
and changes everything.
-Bartholomew

May your right hand always be
stretched out in friendship, never in want.
- Irish Blessing


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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