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Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Treat those who are good with goodness,
and also treat those who are not good with goodness.
Thus goodness is attained.
Be honest to those who are honest,
and be also honest to those who are not honest.
Thus honesty is attained.
- Lao Tzu
Only good comes from being honest and true.
Only harm and suffering come from falsehood.
It doesn't always feel as if good comes from truth and honesty,
but, in the long run, it does.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
Give your time and efforts freely or not at all.
When you are tempted to say,
"Oh, if I have to, I'll skip my golf game
and watch my daughter play soccer," don't do it.
Either generate the heart-felt emotion
to make the free-will gift,
"I'd love to watch your game today, Sandy,"
or the honesty to decline the request gracefully.
Martyrdom doesn't create happiness
for any of the parties involved.
An honest, "No" is preferable to a coerced "Yes."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
- Thomas Jefferson
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best way to cheer yourself
is to try to cheer someone else up.
- Mark Twain
The best cure for our own self-inflicted suffering
is often service to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best and most beautiful things in the world
cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.
- Helen Keller
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Die when I may, I want it said by those who knew me best
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln
The best is yet to come.
- Ernest Holmes
Use what talents you possess.
The woods would be very silent
if no birds sang there,
except those that sang best.
- Henry Van Dyke
You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
Do not look for approval
except for the consciousness of doing your best.
- Andrew Carnegie
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
Write it on your heart that every day
is the best day in the year.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours.
- Irish Blessing
I want it said of me by those who knew me best,
that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower
where I thought a flower would grow.
- Abraham Lincoln
When we do the best that we can,
we never know what miracle is wrought in our life,
or in the life of another.
- Helen Keller
Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out.
- Art Linkletter
An optimist is one who makes the best
of what he gets the worst of.
- Anonymous
Be the best that you can be.
- Anonymous
The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker
In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca
It is best to avoid the beginnings of evil.
- Henry David Thoreau
If a man empties his purse into his head,
no man can take it away from him.
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
- Benjamin Franklin
If a man does his best, what else is there?
- George S. Patton
I do my best and accept life as it comes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The fox has many tricks.
The hedgehog has but one.
But that is the best of all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Be yourself. There is nothing more for you to do
than to be the best YOU that you can be -
with no imitation, no pretense, no guilt, no shame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There are some things you learn best in calm,
and some in storm.
- Willa Cather
I never had a policy;
I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
- Abraham Lincoln
We fear both the best and the worst in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.
- The Buddha
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Do the best you can. Be proud of your accomplishments -
without comparing yourself to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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