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I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical Cute Whimsey
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anger is like a thorn in the heart.
- Yiddish Proverb
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray
A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher
If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden
Like an Eagle, May You Always Soar
High Above the Troubles of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Just stop it. Seriously.
Whatever it is. Just stop it.
If only for an hour, a day, a week.
Stop doing it long enough to get a glimpse
of what the change would actually look like.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
People are like stained glass windows,
they sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when darkness sets in their true beauty
is revealed only if there is a light from within.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
This time, like all times, is a very good one,
if we but know what to do with it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you see something done,
know that you intended it.
If you don't like what you see,
then deeply examine your intentions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you don't like something, change it,
If you can't change it, change your attitude
- Maya Angelou
What if we just acted like everything was easy?
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Find your balance and stand with it.
Find your song and sing it out.
Find your cadence and let it appear like a dance.
Find the questions that only you know how to ask and
The answers that you are content to not know.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Like a bird in flight, your life can soar
above the troubles of the world.
Breathe deep, choose, and break the shackles of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother
Our deepest fears are like dragons
guarding our deepest treasure.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
To dream of the person you would like to be
is to waste the person you are.
- Anonymous
Like a Dolphin, I am Graceful, Powerful, and Compassionate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Well, I don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it doesn't matter with me now.
Because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like any man,
I would like to live a long life.
Longevity has its place.
But I'm not concerned about that now.
I just want to do God's will.
And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I've looked over.
And I've seen the promised land.
I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we,
as a people, will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
We are shaped by our thoughts;
we become what we think.
When the mind is pure, joy follows
like a shadow that never leaves.
- The Buddha
People that seem so glorious are all show;
underneath they are like everyone else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time expands like a brightly colored balloon
when it is filled with joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Like a Chameleon, I Adapt to Changing Circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Expressing gratitude seems like a cosmic invitation
for all kinds of thankfulness and appreciation to pour in.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Love is like a beautiful flower
which I may not touch,
but whose fragrance makes the garden
a place of delight just the same.
- Helen Keller
We cling to our own point of view,
as though everything depended on it.
Yet our opinions have no permanence;
like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.
- Zhuangzi
Act the way you'd like to be
and soon you'll be the way you act.
- Leonard Cohen
We are most like God when we forgive.
- Anonymous
Like an Owl, I am Alert, Patient, and Objective.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't like that man.
I must get to know him better.
- Abraham Lincoln
Like an Eagle, I Soar High Above the Troubles of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
The unknown is like the darkness of a cave -
it can be illuminated by the brief light
of one adventurer's small candle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a game of cards.
The hand you are dealt is determinism;
the way you play it is free will.
- Jawaharlal Nehru
Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige
The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Be like me" is not a Golden Rule.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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